Currently obsessed
(Source: answeringemails)
I don’t know my biological father. Well, I know his last name is Gomez and he is originally from the Mexican state of Jalisco. I met him once when I was 13? 14? The memory is hazy. My family had gone to a big party and at one point we left or met after or before? I don’t know. It was in a Mexican diner. He was pale like me and hairy. That’s all I really remember, other than the immense feeling of awkwardness and insecurity permeating the short visit. I tried once to call him after that, for his birthday. He seemed distant. I remember the sinking feeling that I was still a secret, a shame in his life. I never tried again. He never reached out. All this is to say, that while I was excited to take this test. It took me three months to actually take it after I received it for Christmas. It brought up a lot of anxieties and emotions. With therapy, I had dealt with his rejection, but this test was re-opening a deep wound and I had to process it all again.
Ultimately, I’m happy I took the test. I feel a bit more whole than I did before. I mean, this breakdown is pretty cool! (Thank you baby Jesus for me being more indigenous than Spanish) But also? I have questions! All those small percentages? I did not expect that. And 12% Scottish?? What! Tully said that probably means a great grandparent was from Scotland. I’m left thinking, what is their story?? I looked up Scottish immigration to Mexico and they did make their way to Jalisco (as well as Hidalgo, Veracruz and Aguascalientes). I’m fascinated by it all. The history and kismet that led to the numbers above.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get more details or genealogical information. I’ll try to ask my mom if she has more details about him, but she tends to shut down when I bring him up. I get it.
